Don't Ask, Don't Tell
by aerhead
Summary: Discharged from the United States Marine Corps for breaking the Don't Ask, Don't Tell law of the United States Military, Alex Kelly must recreate her life outside of the military with Marissa. Was it worth it to be found out or will she regret it?
1. Prologue

**PROLOGUE**

_**Coming Home**_

She held large the dark green duffel bag close to her as she carried it over her shoulder. She kept her eyes cast downward as she stepped off the bus that just transported her from the base to the nearest bus station within San Diego. Her other hand held camouflage jacket that had seen many battles. The grey USMC t-shirt fit snuggly against her toned chest, the letters going right across her breasts. Her hair was pulled back into a loose ponytail and her feet were adorned with tan combat marine boots.

The sun was bright as it blazed down over the southern city of California, but the heat didn't phase her one bit as she finally looked up and around for the blue eyes she'd been dying to see for nearly six months now. She found them, after searching amongst the busy crowd. It was hard not to drop the heavy duffel bag she still held tightly over her shoulder and run to her lover. The blue eyes and long, what appeared to be lighter brown hair now was a sight she didn't think she'd ever see again after her most recent tour in Iraq. Pictures, letters and dreams were the only thing that got her through the lonely nights of bombings, gun shootings, blood and eerie silence after a battle.

Their eyes locked and they were soon face to face, trying to figure out if the moment was real. Finally, she dropped the bag at their feet and wrapped her arms around the slender waist of the woman in front of her—her arms going around her neck in retaliation.

"God, I missed you so much," Alex let out as she held Marissa tightly.

Marissa choked back a sob as she buried her face in Alex' hair, "I missed you too, I'm so glad you're home."

Why was their meeting after six long months apart in a busy bus station instead of on base like all the other returning Marines? One law—don't ask, don't tell.

**For those of you that don't live in the United States, and even those that do if you don't know, in the military there is a standing law called Don't Ask, Don't Tell. The definition of it says that gay and/or bisexual men and women cannot participate in acts of homosexuality freely. You are not to speak of it nor ask about it, rendering the Don't Ask, Don't Tell title. Until recently, this law has been in effect for many years, and maybe it was in 'protection' of the homosexuals as claimed, but it took away freedom. Thanks to President Obama, this law is going to hopefully be written out, giving the homosexual community a boost in their rights. I started writing this before President Obama declared it be done with, so it will play into this fiction. This is a serious matter but this is purely fiction (characters, etc – the idea of it is very real and many men and women have had to go through this).**


	2. Chapter 1

**CHAPTER 1**

_**Adjusting**_

_Semper Fidelis – Always Faithful_

_United States Marine Corps Motto_

Their fingers were interlocked—Alex' on top showing she was the more dominant one in the relationship—as they walked out of the busy bus station to the parking lot filled with cars.

"How was your flight? Marissa asked softly. She couldn't get close enough to the blonde.

Alex smiled lovingly and wrapped her arm around Marissa's waist as they walked across the one-way lane of traffic. "Long, very, very long. I'm exhausted."

Marissa nodded and dug into her pocket for the keys to Alex' Jeep. "Well, everyone was planning a welcome back dinner for you tonight, do you want me to cancel it? It's at Chloe's." She held the keys out to her lover.

Alex unwrapped her arm from around Marissa's waist and took the keys as they came up on the black Jeep. She tossed her jacket and duffel bag in the back then pulled Marissa to her, "I think I can handle a dinner. But tonight…you and me?"

Marissa smiled with a nod of her head, "yeah…you and me."

The blonde leant forward and kissed her partner softly but with equal passion. She took a step back then reached up to cup Marissa's soft, sun kissed cheek, "I missed you so much."

Marissa looked down as Alex' blue orbs seared into her then back up slowly, "I missed you too."

They stood that way for a mere few minutes before Alex dropped her hand and nodded towards the Jeep, "come on, lets go home and get showered up then go eat. It's been too long since I've had a good home cooked meal."

Alex directed the jeep expertly into the entrance parking garage, stopping to get a ticket from the machine that spit one out to her then drove on once the gate lifted. She maneuvered the vehicle gracefully up a couple flights before finding a spot on the designated floor they wanted and pulled into the space. She killed the lights and the engine and retracted the keys from the ignition then looked over at Marissa.

Marissa cocked her head to the side as she looked at her partner, now in civilian clothes, "what?"

Alex shook her head with a small smile, "nothin', I just can't look at you enough to make this feel real…that I'm actually home."

Marissa reached over and placed a hand gently on the muscular leg of the blonde, "well it's real…and I'm not letting you go anywhere anytime soon."

Alex leant over and kissed Marissa softly, "I don't plan on leaving you again for awhile. Come on, lets go eat then we can go home and…do some things we haven't done since the night before my deployment."

Marissa bit her lip with a shy smile and nodded, "sounds like we have the same plan."

Alex chuckled and kissed her one more time before unbuckling her seat belt and climbing out of the Jeep. Marissa followed in suit and joined Alex at the rear of the four by four Wrangler.

They walked in silence, their arms around one another. You'd think they'd be talking, but having the other in one another's presence was enough to fill that void that'd been there for half a year. Their steps echoed on the cement walls as they walked to the steel door. Alex pulled it open, allowing Marissa to go first then entered after her, bracing her hand on the door so it wouldn't slam shut. Marissa watched with a small smile as Alex let the door shut quietly. Alex looked up once the door was shut and smiled as she took Marissa's hand, "I hate when it slams, I've heard enough loudness to last me a lifetime."

Marissa nodded in understanding and let Alex lead her up the small set of steps and into the corridor filled with four different apartment doors.

"Nervous?" Marissa asked as they approached the furthest door from them.

Alex shook her head, "nah, excited."

Marissa smiled, "more excited than when you saw me?"

Alex laughed lightly and shook her head again, "no way."

Marissa smiled and rapped her knuckles on the door. They waited patiently for an answer and smiled as the door opened seconds later.

Chloe grinned widely and held the door open completely for the couple to enter. "Alex and Marissa are here!" She announced.

The guests looked up from their conversations, each with a smile and started to surround the Sergeant Major. They each leaned in, wanting hugs from her.

Marissa watched as Alex held to her hand with one hand and hugged their friends with her other arm. She couldn't help but notice how the dark jeans she wore now were a little loose on the blonde's hips—but they still looked very good on her. She also caught the way the muscles in her back would come out through the thin gray half-sleeve button up sweater she wore—they were defined. And her hair was as blonde as ever as it cascaded like a silk blanket over her shoulders.

"Are you glad to have her back, Coop?" She was knocked out of her reverie when the short brunette popped up next to Marissa. Marissa smiled with nod of her head.

"Yeah…" She continued to watch how the blonde conversed with everyone. The distinct way her nose would wrinkle before she laughed. The way her eyes lit up as she would look at a little girl hiding behind her mother.

Alex looked back over her shoulder, now thoroughly sucked into the crowd of people and out of Marissa's reach. She smiled as she caught sight of the woman, her mouth still moving as she spoke.

Marissa smiled and leaned her head to the side with her arms over her chest.

"She looks different," Summer let out.

Marissa looked down briefly then back to Alex and nodded, "yeah, I guess she does. But she's still the Alex I remember."

Summer looked at Marissa with a broad smile. It was amazing the transformation the tall woman made in matter of weeks. If you'd met Marissa Cooper three weeks prior she would have been a pulled back, emotional wreck of a person. And now, she had a glow around her all thanks to the blonde in the room that brought it all out of her.

Marissa excused herself from Summer and started for Alex.

Alex smiled as she felt Marissa's slender hands slip around her side and sidle up to her. She looked to her side and kissed Marissa's forehead. Her arm slid around Marissa's thin waist and rested her hand on Marissa's hip, her thumb hooked in the belt loop of Marissa's jeans.

Jodie leaned her head to the side as she watched the small endearment between the two.

"Hey, Riss," Jodie nodded her head at the taller woman and took a drink of the beer in her hand.

Alex watched Marissa silently as Marissa smiled gently and nodded back at the officer, "hey Jodie. Where's Chanel?" It was amazing how far the two had come, at once hating each other to now being nearly as close as Alex and Jodie were.

Jodie nodded down the hallway, "dinner time. I should probably go check on them, call me tomorrow, Alex. It was good seeing you, Riss." Jodie dismissed herself from the couple, leaving them in a comfortable silence with one another.

Alex squeezed Marissa's hip, "wanna sneak out to the balcony? I could use a cigarette."

Marissa nodded, "yeah, sure, some fresh air sounds good. You can go on out, I'll grab us a couple beers?"

Alex smiled gratefully and pressed her lips gently to Marissa's, "see you out there."

She lay with one arm across her stomach and the other around Marissa, staring at the ceiling. It was four-thirty in the morning and it was quiet, aside from the soft breathing of Marissa cuddled up next to her. A quiet she was not used to. It was habit to wake up so early, no matter how much or how little sleep she got. She and Marissa had fallen asleep two hours earlier, both exhausted from their love making. She'd been awake for thirty minutes now and sleep wouldn't claim her.

With a sigh, Alex gently maneuvered herself from Marissa and sat up on the edge of the bed. Her feet hit the cool hard wood floor of their bedroom as she stood from the bed. She carefully pulled open the drawers of her dresser and pulled out a spaghetti strap camisole and a pair of boy-short panties. Once she had them on, she padded silently out of the large bedroom towards the kitchen of the loft-style apartment.

She sat in the living room five minutes later with a glass of hot tea. She had her feet tucked under her as she cradled the cup in her hands. The street lights outside lit the apartment just enough for her to finally take in the solace of their home. She smiled as she noticed Marissa left everything the way it was when she had left. Her cell phone charger cord still sat idly on the floor next to the shelf that held the stereo. All the DVD's were still lined up neatly in the entertainment center, and the remotes were always where she had left them when she was done watching TV, on the right side of the coffee table. Marissa did a good job of preserving everything so she would feel right at home.

Her tea half gone now, she leant her head back on the dark green suede overstuffed couch and smiled as thoughts of Marissa filled her mind. Her hair was longer now, and it had highlights to tone it up. The curls made her look even more stunning than she was six months ago. Her sea green eyes showed all the love in the world that she held for Alex.

Her body finally started to loosen up but she still held the coffee cup with tea in her hands firmly. Slowly, sleep started to claim her.

Marissa's eyes fluttered open as the space next to her grew cooler. She felt around for Alex, but the blonde wasn't there and her eyes opened fully. She sat up slowly and looked around the room—their clothes were still on the floor so it wasn't a dream that Alex was home. With sleep still weighing on her shoulders, she crawled out of the bed, pulled the blue robe on that hung on the bed post at the foot of the bed and walked quietly out of the room in search of her lover.

She raked a hand tiredly through her hair as she descended the steps. As she reached the floor she stifled a yawn with her hand over her mouth then smiled when she made out the silhouette of Alex asleep on the couch.

Gently, she took the cup of cooled tea and set it on the end table next to the couch and gently placed a hand on the blonde's soft cheek, "baby?" Her voice was quiet.

Alex stirred and her eyes slowly opened. She moaned and sat up straight when she saw Marissa peering at her. "Hey, I couldn't sleep. Are you okay?" Her voice was full of sleep.

Marissa nodded with a tired smile, "yeah, just woke up cause you weren't next to me. Do you wanna come back to bed?"

Alex nodded and let her legs out from under her, "yeah. Only for a couple hours…then I wanna go for a run."

Marissa smiled and led Alex back to their bedroom, stopping in the kitchen to put the cup in the sink.


	3. Chapter 2

**CHAPTER 2**

_**Noticed**_

_Honor._

Alex slowed her pace to a jog and then finally to a walk as she approached the high-rise apartment complex. She bent over, her hands resting on her knees as she caught her breath from her long run. It was nearing ten AM now, and upon rising from bed at eight thirty, she threw on a pair of running pants, a Marine t-shirt, and sneakers then was out the door, with Marissa still slumbering peacefully in the bed. Finally, she regained her breath and proceeded into the building, avoiding the elevator and going straight for the stairs. Her powerful legs carried her quickly up the steps.

Marissa's eyes fluttered open, adjusting to the sunlight that peeked into the bedroom. A yawn slipped from her mouth as she rolled onto her back and stretched her lean body. Her head rotated to look at the clock, exactly ten AM. She rolled her head back around and let her eyes close just briefly while she awoke. She noticed the perma-smile on her face and it grew as she turned onto her side and snuggled the pillow that smelled like Alex once again. With a sigh, she sat up slowly and rose from the bed, stretching her long limbs once more once her feet hit the hardwood flooring. Another sigh left her and Marissa sat back down on the edge of the bed. It wasn't often she got to sleep in like this but taking the next two days off from work she was going to take advantage of it, if Alex would let her. Another smile grew on her lips as Alex came into her mind, she knew Alex would let her do whatever she wanted as long as she was happy. She couldn't wait for the blonde to get back from her morning run.

Marissa bit her lip and stood from the bed. She pulled on the silk robe that hung on the bed post and padded to the bathroom just off the bedroom. The water started, Marissa let the robe slide off her body and pile on the floor around her feet.

Alex pushed her key into the lock of the apartment and opened the door upon hearing the click that it was now unlocked. She entered her home with Marissa and set her keys on the table by the door. Her mind was on one thing, a nice long drink of cold water. The blonde made her way to the kitchen and poured herself a glass of the water. She stood leaning against the counter taking drinks of the liquid, quenching her thirst. Finally replenished enough to satisfy her, Alex poured the rest of the water down the drain, set the cup in the sink and wiped her mouth with the back of her hand. Now, a nice hot shower was in order to get all the sweat and grime off her body after the exhilarating run.

The shower door opened and Marissa tossed a smile over her shoulder as she let the hot water run over her body. "Hey you," her voice was quiet and a hint of tiredness could be heard.

Alex gave a soft smile and slipped her arms gently around Marissa's waist. She planted a wet kiss on the brunettes shoulder then one to her neck, "hey. Did you sleep okay?"

Marissa nodded and relaxed into the strong embrace of her lover. "Mm, waking up and knowing you would be here before I got out of the shower made me so happy. How was your run?"

They switched positions and Alex now stood under the cascading water. Marissa watched lovingly as Alex ran her fingers through the blonde locks. She got to enjoy the view of the nude woman the night before but she didn't get to take in all the fine points of her muscled physique. She noticed the fine line of the six pack of her abs, and the way they would flex with just one movement made by the blonde. Her legs were so toned, and her muscles were defined.

Alex smiled warmly as she looked at Marissa watching her. She placed her hands gently on Marissa's hips and pulled her closer to her.

Marissa's arms delicately wrapped around Alex' neck and their lips joined together. No words needed to be said as their eyes spoke everything.

Alex finally pulled back and reached up to caress Marissa's face, "why don't we finish up in here and then go spend some time out today? Maybe we could go shopping?"

Marissa's eyebrows quirked, "you hate shopping."

Alex chuckled and kissed Marissa again softly, "I hate shopping, but I love spending time with you. We could also go to the beach, it's been awhile since I've been there."

Marissa's eyes lit up, she was sure Alex would be sick of seeing sand, so the idea of the beach never crossed her mind. "You sure?"

Alex nodded, her eyes showing the adoration she held for the brunette, "yeah…it'll be nice to get back on a surfboard."

Alex collapsed on the empty towel next to Marissa with a big smile. "I haven't felt this relaxed in six months."

Marissa smiled as she lay on her stomach watching Alex lie on her back. The water glistened on Alex' tone body as the sun beat down on them. Alex looked over at Marissa then leaned over and kissed her. "You look like a bug with those sunglasses, baby."

Marissa laughed and reached out to smack her girlfriend in the stomach, "be nice, I make your food."

Alex smirked and turned onto her side. She held her head in one hand as she reached out and ran her fingers of Marissa's back, "I bring it home though."

Marissa took the sunglasses off and gave a mock glare. Alex chuckled the leant down again and kissed the pouty lips. Marissa couldn't help but smile as she put the sunglasses back on and lay her head on her arms

"Sergeant Major?"

Alex retracted her hand from Marissa's back and her smile faded as she rolled over and looked up at the person who just approached.

Marissa's eyes widened, she was glad she had the sunglasses on—she knew this wasn't good, someone seeing the Marine in compromising positions with another woman. The policy of the military wouldn't let this go, she just hoped this person wasn't important and if they made any accusations against her girlfriend they would just go away.

Alex stood up and gave a nod of her head, "Sergeant. Enjoy being home?"

The woman nodded and her eyes shifted to Marissa then back to Alex, "very much. Are you?"

Alex caught the look but kept her eyes forward on the First Sergeant, "yes, I am. It's a much needed vacation. Will you be at training this weekend?"

The redhead nodded then looked behind her at the man with her, "this is Jason, my husband. Jason, this Sergeant Major Kelly, she was on the same tour as me."

Alex gave a nod of her head again and offered her hand. Jason took it and shook it then pulled back, almost intimidated by her rank. "Nice to meet you."

Marissa listened to the small conversation between the three, and she couldn't help but feel a little hurt when she wasn't introduced. She was used to it by now, but it still hurt—even though Alex was protecting her and their relationship. Finally, the Marine and her husband dismissed themselves and Alex sat back down on the towel. However, she was tense this time and mute.

Marissa watched as Alex looked at the blue ocean as the waves crashed against the shore. Alex felt the teal orbs on her and looked back at Marissa. She averted her eyes though and stood up, "we should probably go…it's getting late."

_**Sorry this took months to update! It was not my intention to just leave you hanging with that prologue. I'm back now though and will continue to update. I will warn you now though, this is a challenge to write so this story may be updated less than the others as this plays so much in real life and I don't want to mess up any real facts that will played. Thanks for reading, I appreciate your feedback!**_


	4. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3: Work and Love**

_Commitment._

Marissa ran the brush through her silky wet hair as she entered the bedroom. Alex at on the bed with her legs crossed flipping through a magazine, oblivious to the thoughts running through Marissa's mind.

Marissa bit her lip and set the brush on the dresser then made her way to the bed. She crawled onto it and sat on her knees facing Alex, "are you disappointed?"

Alex looked up at the words, her brows were furrowed and her head cocked to the side, "disappointed about what?"

Marissa looked down as she played with her fingers, "disappointed…in us. Ashamed?"

Alex looked back at the bed, her eyes on the magazine but her attention on Marissa. "No…"

Marissa could hear the hesitation in the blonde's voice and the slightest bit of pain touched her heart. "You don't sound very sure about that…"

Alex sighed and looked back up to find Marissa looking back at her. They studied one another as Alex thought of what to say. "It's not that I'm ashamed, its just…I'm scared. The Corps is a huge part of my life…the past ten years…it's a lot, Marissa."

"But what about us? Don't you know how it kills me every time we see another Marine and you don't introduce me?"

Alex raised her eyebrows, "you just want me to up and say 'this is Marissa, my girlfriend, but don't tell anyone, I don't want to be kicked out'? Is that what you want me to say, Marissa?"

Marissa looked away, anywhere but at Alex. This was an argument they had often.

"I should be worth that risk though, shouldn't I?" Her voice was deathly quiet but Alex heard her.

"You are worth it Marissa, but I'm not going to take an unnecessary risk, a risk that could cost me my career. Or is that what you want?"

Marissa looked back up and shook her head, she'd heard the hostility in her lovers voice, "no…of course not. I just…"

Alex waited for Marissa to say something but nothing, "you just what, Marissa? We've had this discussion so many times, and it's always the same. It's like you expect me to finally give in and say that I'll give it up, but—"

"I don't expect you to say or do that, Alex. I never have," Marissa quickly cut her off.

"Then what? What do you expect?" Alex was leaning against the headboard, relaxed but her facial features were contorted in frustration and irritation.

"For the fucking laws to change! I want to be able to go to all these events with you that you have to go solo on! I want to be able to be introduced as your girlfriend—hell your fucking wife! It's not fair and its like you don't even give a shit, all you care about is getting kicked out of the military!"

"That's bullshit and you know it Marissa. You know I want to scream and shout that I'm with you, but I can't. I'm a fucking Sergeant Major, Marissa and I've worked my ass off to get there. Call me selfish for not wanting to just give that up, but it took ten years to get there."

"All I hear is how long its taken you to get there, yeah, it's taken a long time and you've worked hard to get everything you have but what about us? I don't hear you saying we've been through hell and back the past six years. I feel like I'm just someone here to give a free fuck when you get home…"

Alex closed her eyes and took a deep breath. She wasn't on base and she wasn't commanding anyone, she needed to keep her cool with Marissa. "You know that's not what you are to me, Marissa so don't put words in my mouth. You know I love you more than anything—"

"Except the Marine Corps," Marissa said quietly, now looking away.

Alex' jaw steeled and her eyes hardened, "fine, Marissa, next time we run into another officer I'll introduce you as my girlfriend. Then when I lose that part of my life, you can feel just all happy because you got your way and I don't have a career anymore. That's exactly what I'll do so I can't fucking support you anymore and give us some hope of a future together when I'm not in the military. It's a great idea even though everything I'm doing now is for us. But don't worry, it'll all stop as soon as the government finds out I'm gay!"

Marissa watched as Alex left the room. She heard her feet hitting the hardwood floor, and her steps were hard, but she wasn't about to let this go. Alex had to understand it.

Alex groaned as she heard Marissa following her. She whipped around in the hallway and looked at Marissa, "I'm not choosing between you and my career, Marissa. I was a Marine before I met you and it's not fucking fair of you to basically make me pick. I know it hurts you when I don't introduce you or take you to things, it hurts me too because I want to tell everyone who you are and how happy you make me. But ya know what, I made that sacrifice when I enlisted. I'm sorry you can't accept that but it doesn't mean I do things because I don't love you or don't do things because I do. I do love you, Marissa, more than any other person in this world, but I just…fuck…"

Marissa listened as Alex finally lowered her tone back to the sincere voice she loved. Alex leaned her to the side as she watched Marissa look at anything but her. She sighed and held out an arm, "come here."

Marissa looked up and saw the extended arm. She took the few steps to Alex and let the blonde pull her into a tight embrace.

"I'm sorry," Alex whispered as she tangled a hand in Marissa's hair while the other rested on her hip. "I love you so much and everything I do is for you."

Marissa nodded, "I know…I'm sorry too, I was just frustrated."

Alex nudged her back and cupped Marissa's cheek as she looked into her eyes, "I love you."

Marissa gave a soft smile, "I love you too."

I'm gonna catch up to the last chapter so keep reading And thank you so much for all the reviews!


	5. Chapter 4

_**THIS CHAPTER CONTAINS ADULT CONTENT.**_

**Chapter 4: Reporting for Duty**

_Courage._

Marissa's body rocked as Alex used her powerful body to give her more leverage as they made love. She bit down on the blonde's shoulder and let out a whimper.

"Yes…oh, God, yes, Alex…" She moaned, her head falling back into the pillow and her eyes squeezing shut.

Alex reached down with her free hand and pulled Marissa's leg higher. She held tightly to her thigh and pushed harder with her body. Marissa's nails scored down Alex' lean back as stars started to form in her eyes.

"I love you, Riss," Alex let out with a moan.

Marissa whimpered and nodded, "I love you too…oh God baby, I'm gonna come…"

Alex lifted her head and watched Marissa's face as it contorted. "Yeah? Tell me how good you feel, baby…"

Marissa bit her lip as grunts left her. Her mouth opened and a long guttural moan escaped her. "So…so, good, Alex."

A vibration came from the bedside table, followed by a familiar tune.

"Don't answer it…baby I'm so close…" Marissa begged.

Alex let her eyes avert to the phone on the table then back to her lover. She was conflicted as to what to do. She knew the call was important, otherwise the ringtone wouldn't be playing at that moment but it'd been so long since she'd had the woman below her writhing like she was in ecstasy.

Alex groaned and dropped onto the bed next to Marissa. Marissa let out a few swear words as the sweet rapture stopped. Alex grabbed her cell phone from the bedside table and pushed it to her ear after accepting the call.

"Sergeant Major Kelly," she answered.

"Sergeant Major, we need you to be on base at thirteen hundred hours," a higher ranking officer's voice came across.

"Yes sir," Alex responded respectfully. "I will be there early."

"Be in full uniform."

"Yes sir, thank you sir. Can I ask what this is about?"

"I am not at liberty to discuss this with you over the phone. Be here at thirteen hundred hours; that is an order, Sergeant Major." His voice was hard and unforgiving.

Alex looked at Marissa as she responded, "yes sir."

The call ended and Alex sat up in the bed. She looked back at Marissa, "I have to be on base at thir—one. Can we finish this later though?"

Marissa gave a sad nod, "yeah…I understand. When do you think you'll be home?"

Alex shook her head and shrugged her shoulders, "I don't know. How about I call you on my way?"

Marissa gave another nod, "okay…I guess I could go down to the office for a little bit."

Alex pulled the jeep into a parking space. It was twelve-forty-five, she had fifteen minutes to be in the office she was ordered to be at. She pulled the keys from the ignition then reached over and grabbed the green garrison cap in the passenger seat. She fit the cap on her head and exited the vehicle. With one last smoothing of her clothes, Alex walked towards the large building in front of her. Her mind was focused on the task at hand, reporting for duty.

Her heels hit the pavement with a positive sound, her demeanor was bold and confident with her shoulders pulled back and her head held high. She walked up the steps of base headquarters and entered the large building. She pulled the sunglasses from her eyes and held them in her hand, folding the arms together on them. She didn't search for her destination, instead she continued walking, she'd been in this building many times and hoped she would one day have an office.

Finally, the Sergeant Major reached her destination and she knocked on the large wooden door.

"Who is it?" A loud voice called from behind it.

"Sergeant Major Kelly, sir," she responded with the utmost respect.

The door opened and Alex quickly questioned what a few of the others were doing in the office.

"Have a seat Sergeant Major, we have some issues that need to be addressed," she was ordered by the same man on the phone.

Thank you for reading!


	6. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5: Accusing Eyes**

_Strength._

Alex waited, her nerves shooting off inside her like fireworks, it couldn't be another promotion—she had only been a Sergeant Major for a year, she had at least another year to go before she was considered for another promotion. She sat quietly in front of the large oak desk where the Lieutenant Colonel of the base sat and next to her was her commanding officer, the Sergeant Major of the Marine Corps.

"Sergeant Major Kelly, you're probably wondering why you're here," the Lieutenant Colonel spoke as he looked up from the file on his desk.

Alex nodded her head, still silent in respect to the higher ranks. Seeing that he was acknowledged, the Colonel continued, "there have been allegations made against you by various officers on the base of homosexual conduct." As the words left his mouth, Alex felt her world come crashing down. The air left her but she showed no physical sign of weakness yet. "You have been a Marine for the past ten years, Kelly. You know the laws and the consequences. I have faith in you, but because these allegations have been made, you are relieved of your duties until an investigation has been completed. At which time, you will undergo the correct process. Sergeant Major, you are dismissed."

Alex blinked and stood from the desk, the commanding officers standing with her. She saluted, then turned sharply on her heel and left the office. Her head held high as she left the quarters. Her steps were quick as she raced to her Jeep Wrangler. Once inside her jeep, she started the ignition and pulled out. The drive to the exit of the base was a blur as thoughts ran rapidly through her head.

Her drive home was the same, no tears, nothing. The music was off and her head was clouded with so many questions. How could she let this happen? Everything she worked for, everything she lived for was practically gone because of her stupidity. Why didn't she think?

She opened the door of the apartment, her face still solemn. Quietly, Alex closed the door behind her, setting her keys and cap on a nearby table and continuing to the living room. With shaky legs, the blonde lowered herself to the couch.

"Hey, when did you get home? I didn't even hear—Alex?" Marissa came down the hallway, pep in her voice that quickly left when she saw Alex in the state that she was. She hurried over to the couch and sat down next to her girlfriend. "Baby?" Her voice was now softer.

"I'm being investigated…" her voice was deathly quiet and her eyes were locked in front of her on nothing important.

Marissa's brows furrowed and she shook her head, "investigated? By the police?" She didn't understand it.

Alex scoffed, she wished it was the police, "no, Marissa, by the United States Marine Corps. Someone reported that I'm gay."

She now understood it, her eyes widened and her mouth dropped, "who? Someone tattled on you? Do they have evidence?"

Alex pulled her hands out of Marissa's and stood up, "I don't know who, Marissa. They won't tell me that. And it doesn't matter if they have evidence, my career is ruined. There is no denying it, especially if the people that have reported it are higher rank than me. Isn't this what you wanted?"

Marissa looked at Alex painfully, "why would I want this?"

Alex flipped around and stared daggers at her girlfriend, "so we can be out and open about our relationship. So I can touch you in public. Isn't that what you said the other day?"

"Yeah, I do want that but not at the cost of your career. Don't try and make this my fault, Alex because it's not and that's not fair. I have been nothing but supportive of you. I moved my whole life here for you. Baby…we can beat this…if they don't have evidence…there has to be a way…"

Alex shook her head and ran both hands through her hair, "it doesn't matter, all my hard work is pretty much tarnished now because of something that I am."


	7. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6: Cold Sweats & Late Nights**

_Valor._

_The sand was everywhere, screams were coming from every direction, gun shots sounded and the earth moved as the town they were currently in was under siege by the enemy. People lay on the streets; some dead, some alive, some near death itself. Guarded by the Hummer she lay under, she fired the gun at the enemy._

She shot up in the bed, drenched in sweat and her breath ragged. It was as if Alex was there, at war again. She felt as if she had all her gear on in the intense heat. She could still hear the screams of the children that were caught in the attack.

Marissa felt the quick movement next to her and her eyes fluttered open. She sat up and carefully set a hand on Alex' back. "Another nightmare?"

Alex nodded and pulled her knees up where she rested her elbows. She picked at her nails, a nervous habit of hers, "it's like I was there…". Her voice was so quiet Marissa barely heard her, but she did – just barely.

"Wanna go for a walk?" Marissa suggested, it was one of the best ways to get Alex to calm back down – a midnight walk around their neighborhood.

Another nod from Alex, Marissa expected it. In silence, she crawled out of the large king size bed and padded to the dresser where she retrieved a pair of pants for her and a pair for Alex. She pulled hers up her long legs then went back to the bed where Alex now sat still silent and shaken from her night terror.

"Here," Marissa said quietly. Alex reached out and took the pants. She flipped the blankets back and pulled the pants on and stood up, her dog tags clinking under her wife beater. With a big sigh, she pulled on the hoodie Marissa now offered.

Marissa watched as the blonde dressed herself. She would never understand the pressure or anxiety that war had on a person, there was no way she could unless she experienced, but she knew Alex had to be strong to be able to take the consequences that being a Marine brought. Last for the blonde to put on was a simple pair of flip flops she kept by the bed just in case.

Minutes later they were walking down the steps of their apartment building and onto the sidewalk.

"What was it about this time?" Marissa finally asked once well into their walk. She felt Alex squeeze her hand slightly at the mention of the nightmare.

"Just…war, I guess? I just remember laying under one of the Hummer's and shooting the guys that ambushed us. A few of my men died…and I remember there was a little girl that was crying for her mom nearby, but her mom was dead. It's like I was there again. I just felt all this weight on me, like I was carrying my gear and had all my armor on." Alex explained as she remembered everything that happened, using her hands to help her explain.

Marissa listened intently and pulled Alex over to sit on a bench in the park they were currently in. Alex sat down and turned to see her girlfriend watching her. It was well past one in the morning, and even though she had another nightmare, Alex felt her body completely relaxed as she looked at how soft and peaceful Marissa looked under the moonlit sky.

"That's one thing I'll miss," she let out softly. Marissa's brows furrowed together in confusion and she cocked her head to the side. Alex smiled and looked up at the sky, "the stars…the night sky over there, its so clear…every night I would look up and try to give each one a reason why I loved you, but I always lost count." Marissa smiled and took Alex' hands in hers.

"Maybe we can go camping then sometime…just you and me, and we can look at the starts together," Marissa suggested.

Alex nodded with a small smile, "I'd really like that…I missed this a lot."

Marissa moved in closer, her legs going over the blondes just lightly, "I missed it too."

Alex let out a breath and closed her eyes. "I'm sorry for snapping at you today…I know its not your fault and you've done so much for me, Riss."

"Alex—"

Alex cut her girlfriend off with a shake of her head, "don't say its okay, because its not. I don't even know what's going to happen yet. The whole time we've been together, the only time I've felt safe showing public affection is at night, right here on this bench, with you. I don't feel like people are constantly watching me when we're out here. If…if I'm discharged, I'll be able to show you during the day without being scared too."

"I'm sorry you feel that way…" Marissa's voice was soft and sincere.

Alex shook her head as if telling Marissa not to apologize, "I'm not. I would take any amount of torture if it meant being with you. None of it matters to me because I have you."


	8. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7: The End…**

"_The Professionals" – 2__nd__ Battalion, 1__st__ Marines_

Alex already knew the outcome of her trial. She was guilty. All the proof they had against her was shown and viable. The only she thing she could hope for was that her honesty about the situation would steer it to the better side of the discharge…if there was such a thing for her.

"_Sergeant Major, what can you say about all this that is being said – and shown – and show about your misconduct of homosexual behavior?" She was asked by one of the attorney's. Why was this happening to her? What did she do? She gave ten years of her life to the service, and before that she couldn't wait until she was eighteen to enlist. Why? She lead troops into war, pulled her comrades from burning buildings, and helped families in the Middle East to have shelter._

"_I'm guilty," was her simple reply._

_No one was surprised of her honesty. "Do you have anything else to say?"_

_Alex took a big breath and closed her eyes, when she opened them she let out what she could, "if there is ever anything I have ever been taught since enlisting, it has been to be honest. I have worked so hard for everything I have accomplished here, and while I know that homosexual misconduct is highly looked down upon, I don't feel that I should have to hide it. I fight for this country's right for equality."_

"_So you think that you shouldn't be dishonorably discharged?" She was asked by one of the commanding officers in the room._

"_No sir, I don't." There were still straight faces in the room as they took in the information._

"_Sergeant Major, would you mind telling us why you think you don't deserve a dishonorable discharge?"_

"_Since enlisting, I have been an exemplary Marine. I have exceeded my limitations and made so much progress that not many of my comrades have. I have climbed the ladders and proven myself to be a dutiful and dependable Marine. Aside from this, the facts show that I have been an outstanding Marine. It doesn't matter my opinion on the matter, only the facts matter. I admit to my wrong, and I know that I can no longer be enlisted in the service. I also know that admitting to it shows respect, honesty, and valor. I don't expect to be discharged honorably. I know the decision lies in your hands."_

"_We'll take a break for fifteen minutes. A decision will be made upon returning."_

Alex sat down in her seat. She was seconds away from learning the fate of her future.


	9. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8: What Next?**

_More Than Duty_

Alex waited patiently for the proceedings to start. As she did, her mind drifted back to when she found out about Marissa being interrogated at her work place by to M.O.'s.

_She opened the front door after a day of her personal training due to her temporary leave from the Marine's. She saw Marissa sitting on the couch typing madly on her laptop, furiously hitting the delete key and clicking the mouse. She set her iPod down on the table by the door and her keys along with it before she walked over to the couch where her lover sat._

"_Riss?"_

_Marissa didn't even look up, "they came by my office today."_

_Alex' perfectly sculpted brows furrowed together, "what? Who did?"_

_Marissa finally looked up at the blonde, "two Military Officer's, Alex. That's who. They came into my office, started going through my laptop, snooping through my emails and the pictures. They asked me questions about you, Alex. They tried to get me to out you, I didn't, but they tried! They asked where I got the promise ring you gave me. They wouldn't stop!" All of it came out in a jumble but Alex heard every word of it. She sat down and pulled Marissa into her._

"_I am so sorry, baby…" she whispered into Marissa's hair as the brunette sobbed into her neck._

"Sergeant Major Kelly," Alex was broke of her thoughts as the powerful intruded her mind. She looked up respectfully.

"After going over the documents we have been given, we have no choice but to discharge you from the United States Marine Corps. However, because of your dedication to this country and the honesty you have shown through this proceeding, you are being honorably discharged. Let me make this clear to Sergeant Major, this is a serious charge against you and you will not be able to re-enlist unless the law changed. We thank you for serving the United States of America and leading men and women into battle and home again. Good luck in your future endeavors."

Alex knew it was coming, she knew she wouldn't be able to continue her dream. She rose from her chair and saluted the officers in the room before she made her exit.

The drive home was a long quiet one. She didn't know what she would do now. What would she do for a career? How would she survive? Sure, she had money saved up, but that would only last so long and Marissa could only support them for so long before their funds ran out. And a career…the Marine Corps was her choice but she couldn't do that. What would she do? Thoughts ran through her mind as she drove.

Once home, she opened the front door and walked in quietly. Marissa waited for her on the couch, but she all but ignored the woman's presence and made her way back to bedroom. She started to take her uniform off, throwing the pieces of it on the bed.

Marissa followed and watched as Alex removed the suit. "How did it go?" Her voice was quiet.

"Well, let's just say, the only sand storm I'll see now will be in the desert in Arizona." Alex responded, not turning around to face Marissa.

Marissa entered the room completely and wrapped her arms around Alex who was now in her bra the pants. Alex untangled herself from the embrace and sat down on the bed. Marissa felt rejected as she watched the blonde take off the healed boots. As soon as one dropped to the floor, Alex dropped her head into her hands as tears finally surfaced and poured down her cheeks. Marissa was quick to respond and took her girlfriend into her arms.

"Sh…it'll be okay, baby." She soothed.

Alex wrapped her arms around Marissa's hips and clung tightly to her as she buried her face into the woman's flat stomach and cried.

Thank you for reading. I'm sorry it took so long to update this. I just forget this site for some reason. Any reviews are greatly appreciated.


	10. Chapter 9

**Chapter 9: Choices**

_Gung-Ho_

"I think we should move back to L.A.," Alex let out abruptly as they lay in bed just days following the dreaded news.

Marissa's head turned slowly, unsure if she heard her girlfriend correctly, "what?" She had to question it. She knew Alex loved San Diego, and they'd been there since she could remember. Not to mention, Marissa worked there and they had friends in the city too. A job could easily be found in Los Angeles but it was a day's drive to see their friends, they couldn't just up and leave whenever. It'd have to be planned, just like it was now when they wanted to see their friends and her family in Orange County and L.A.

Alex continued to stare at the ceiling, an arm behind her head and her other hands interlocked Marissa's. "Just an idea…but I really think we should. I've been thinking about it, a lot."

Marissa adjusted herself so she now lay on her side propped up and looking at Alex. She reached out with her free hand and gently turned Alex head so she could see in the blue eyes of the blonde, "you love San Diego."

Alex nodded, then sat up. Marissa followed and both women turned so they were facing each other. Alex pulled Marissa into her lap, their legs surrounding one another with Marissa's longer ones on top. "Yeah, I do. But…I miss L.A. Besides, I don't have any else here now that the military is done. You have family there, we both have friends, and its not like we wouldn't ever come back to visit here."

Marissa cocked her head to the side, her arms resting loosely around Alex' neck. "You've really thought about this haven't you?"

Alex looked down as she ran her hands over Marissa's arms, "yeah…yeah I have." She looked back up and into Marissa's eyes now, "we don't have to, its just an idea. If you wanna stay, we can stay. I just thought…well you moved here for me, because of me. You didn't know anyone, you came down here 5 years ago because I hated you being so far away. You left everything you knew."

Marissa caught onto her point quickly, "and you want to do the same for me?"

Alex gave a little shrug then again nodded, "yeah. I don't really have anything here now, and you know if there was a base in L.A. while I was in the Corps I would have dropped everything here in a heartbeat for you and now, I don't have an obligation that determines my financial future…our financial future."

Marissa couldn't help but smile, she loved that Alex just wanted to take care of her, "let's not decide tonight. We have friends here and we have created a life. And you could find a job here that you like. A new career path perhaps."

Alex quickly spoke up, "actually, I was looking around online the other day, asking myself the same question I asked before I got into the military of what I would do if I didn't become a Marine. And I said either a bartender or a cop. And since I was released honorably, I can get a job as a po-po in L.A. in a higher rank making about what I did in the military, minus a few grand." Marissa laughed now, causing Alex to wrinkle her forehead in confusion. "What?"

Marissa let her laughter die to a chuckle before she leant in and kissed her girlfriend several times, "bartender or a cop? And you choose cop? Both are pretty sexy. But you always thinking of money."

Alex looked down, a little hurt by the comment, "I just wanna give you the best…everything that I can…and our kids when we have a family."

Marissa felt a little stab as she saw the hurt cross her lovers defined face, she released an arm from around the blondes neck and cupped Alex' cheek, directing her sight back to her, "I know…and I love you for it. I'm sorry I hurt your feelings."

"Besides, I can be out if I'm a cop, but still be part of the law, ya know? You won't get hurt anymore, you'll be able to go to the dances and everything with me, the banquets that police stations hold every year. I'll be able to introduce you as my girlfriend, or my fiancée, and eventually my wife instead of just my friend."

Marissa felt as if her ears were ringing hearing the words coming from the woman's mouth before her. Just a month ago they were arguing about the blonde being an out lesbian and now it was like a complete 360. "You're…you're wife? You mean…"

Alex smiled a genuine smile, "yeah…eventually. But I do want you as my wife. I wanna have babies with you."

Marissa couldn't help but laugh again, causing Alex to give a small chuckle as well. "So…L.A. then?"

Alex grinned widely now, "really?"

Marissa nodded, it was the only thing she could do at the moment, "but first, I think we should go on a vacation together. Anywhere you wanna go. We have the savings, and I have you all to myself, so I wanna take advantage of that before you become a career-enthused woman again."

Alex laughed now then nodded, "okay, deal. Let's make sure we keep it that way."

Marissa shrieked as she was thrown backward on the bed and tackled by the toned woman. Her shriek soon turning into a moan.

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**You should thank my professor for this update considering I wrote this instead of my term paper due on Thursday. I just opened this up and started writing to be honest. I have had a writers block on it since the last time I update and it just came out so smoothly tonight of where to take it. This was the chapter I needed to get in before I could continue. I only have two more weeks of classes left and two term papers, plus a one page report oh and 3 final exams to do. With how well I can bullshit on papers, those will be out of the way rather fast so I'll need to do is study. Anyway, hope you enjoyed the update after this little speel I just gave about my educational process. I think being sick since Thursday has given me a lot of time to think since I've been nowhere but bed since then. See ya on the flip side babes.**


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